Thursday, September 10, 2015

Kid's Shows

It's probably a good idea that children not watch a lot of television.  It's probably better for their eyes, for their mood, for their mental development.  It's most likely better for their overall health in general, but in a house of twins things need to get done.  Television is a way to accomplish things without the children whining, grabbing at you or generally running circles around the pile of toys they just peed on.  It's way easier to do the dishes when two doppelgangers aren't pulling your gym shorts to your knees.  So we put the TV on.  Let's go over a few programs for children these days shall we.  Daniel Tiger.  Daniel Tiger is a kind of spin off of the incredible, amazing, timeless gem that is Mr. Rogers Neighborhood.  Fred Rogers would not know weather to shit or wind his watch if he saw this horrific imitation of his contribution to the development of young minds he spent his life on!  First off, Daniel Tiger's dad is about as creepy as the whole first season of True Detectives.  He definitely has some bodies hidden in that clock workshop.  Let's not forget the fact he doesn't wear pants.  Daniel's mom wears pants.  Not Daniel's dad....walks around with his tiger out all the time.  Daniel's best friend is Miss Elaina.  She is the same age as him and he refers to he as MISS Elaina.  Why is this?  I kinda think it's because she's black.  What a racist little nazi tiger this Daniel is.  Moving on.  Bo on the Go.  Bo on the Go is a whole lot of nonsensical dancing with no story that bombards you with colors to cover up the piles of shit stacked to the ceiling of this carnival tent of hokum.  Kids seem to like it though.  I could go on about other shows on TV, but let me tell you what the worst thing that kids watch videos.  I'm not talking about the alphabet song or Old Mcdonald had a Farm.  My kids will sit there for hours watching strange people unbox toys and give a play by play of the whole ordeal like it's the pregame show of the super bowl.  It doesn't even matter what it is, they are glued to that 42 inch screen just to see whats in that plastic easter egg or piece of play-doh.  What is so amusing about some seemingly latin chick with busy fingernails showing people how to take legos out of the package and proceed to build the castle from Frozen.  I'm not kidding, if my guys hear "Hi guys, Disney Collector here" they drop what they're doing and they will not blink until that's My Little Pony is out of the box and thoroughly put through it's paces.  Never once have they watched that bitch open something up and say "May I please have one of those".  To be fair the twins can't say much yet but J never shuts up and he just wants to watch her open the entire contents of the action figure isle of Target.  I shouldn't be making fun of Disney Collector, that channel was the MOST successful channel on youtube last year.   Because kids park themselves in front of the TV and just sit there for hours drooling like a 200 pound mastif.   

Kid's watch a lot of nonsense and we let them so we can do the things parents need to do like sweep the floor, do the dishes or just catch our breath sometimes.  It can't be that bad for them right?  Please like us on facebook at Badtwindad and feel free to leave comments.  I'm sure there are better ways to keep your kids occupied while you get things done but what do I know, I'm a BadTwinDad.

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