Saturday, October 10, 2015


It happens in every parents career of putting their kids to sleep, whether it be at naptime or bedtime and it will probably only happen a few times before something has to be done.  I did not witness it myself but I could sense a huge disturbance in the force just before my wife called and said "Shit just got real".  At first, I thought to myself "Shit has pretty much been real since we brought these two home".  She explained to me the horror of opening the door to find Oliver sitting on his changing table when he should have been in his crib taking a nap.  He had climbed out of his already lowered as far down as it will go crib and climbed onto the changing table and was throwing wipes around the room like they were seeds in a field.  As if this wasn't hard enough already (see blog post 2 "Bedtime") now they can just climb out whenever they please!  My first reaction was chicken wire and a lot of duct tape but that would probably lead to a Mad Maxish sort of look to the room that my lovely wife would frown upon.  Then I thought we could put them in little strait jackets that might remind them of their swaddling days but that would make night time diaper changes difficult.  For sure if I spread Crisco all over every square inch of the cribs that would solve it but honestly that's a little gross.  Binding an ankle to a crib spindle would probably leave marks and I'd like to sell these cribs eventually.   The best alternative to cribs that comes to mind is a couple of dog kennels big enough to fit crib mattresses into but I'm pretty sure the wife will be displeased with this obvious remedy.  Chloroform is too risky on toddlers period.  So I suppose we will just keep going on until either some breaks on arm by jumping from a crib with no parachute or they are old enough to sleep in real beds.  I'm sure perfect fathers could keep these Houdinis on lock down but I'm a BadTwinDad. Like us on facebook at BadTwinDad and share it please and follow us on twitter @BadTwinDad. 

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