Monday, October 5, 2015
The Mongol Horde sacked the city of Kiev in 1240. Kiev was the most populated city in the area what is now Ukraine. The Mongols must have had a feast of epic proportions after this victory. Can you imagine the table manner situation of these nomadic sheep shaggers? Let me tell you they have nothing on my little gang of boys.
My wife puts a lot of effort and care into dinner. Every night she puts forth a spread with all the bases covered. Fresh baked bread. A fruit and vegetable with every meal. Well rounded. The meal usually starts off with Jack saying grace. Whether or not he lets a fart slip in the process is a roll of the dice. He's only 3 so misplaced flatulence here and there can be overlooked. Everyone usually starts eating pretty well for the first thirty seconds or so. This is valuable time. This is when the adults present at the table should get as much food down as possible cause it only goes downhill from here. The first drink of water Henry or Oliver take usually turns into them pouring it all over the table, the plate, or themselves resulting in said water usually being taken away from them. After they get over this unbelievable affront to there dining sensibilities, they will eat a little more and then the throwing starts. From forks to french fries, if they can pick it up it flies. It's normally around this point in the meal when Jack requires that he be chaperoned into the bathroom. Sometimes his trousers can be difficult. We usually call it quits around this point. One of us throws all three of them in the tub while the other cleans up the aftermath that the Mongols have just spread the through streets of Kiev. Every night it seems like there is more food in the dust pan than was on there plates at the beginning of the meal. Sometimes we wonder how they survive because most of their food ends up on the floor. I'm sure at some point they will grow out of this but what do I know I'm a BadTwinDad. Like us on facebook at BadTwinDad